Commitment – Expectations – Contract
Two strangers meet. The one needs help and the other is willing to help. They make a mutual commitment. But something goes wrong… The tragedy of commitment, expectations and contracts commence.
Some time ago Joen posted his Rules of Paid Creative Work. Allthough very useful and relevant in many aspects in all its simplicity, I think some nuances are worth digging deeper into.
Anyway, back to our two strangers:
The first guy has a problem, and is willing to pay the other for his help. The other agrees that he would be the right one to help, in exchange for a compensation. They agree, and engage in a mutual commitment. The only problem is, that the first guy didn’t realise what deep shit he was in, and the second guy didn’t take the time to find out what was really involved.
The contract is not the most important object or issue in their relationship. Commitment is. Without commitment a contract isn’t worth anything, and without the truthful commitment of both parties, neither of them will experience a successful relationship.
Expectiations is an immediate second on the list of importance. Without specification of the expectations a contract isn’t worth anything, and the boundaries of your commitment are likely to be stretched. Specification or spec is in this case the more technical term for the stranger’s expectations.
Basically it all comes down to expectations. It hurts when your expectations aren’t met. When someone meets your expectations you’re satisfied. If something exceeds your expectations your very satisfied, or maybe even happy about it. Thus, your expectations are the standards you meassure a thing by. By defining expectations – by specifying – you and the stranger in need of your assistance create a shared standard of meassurement.
Your primary job in order to help a stranger, is to reveal as many aspects of the problem as possible. Ask questions and listen. Investigate and take notes. Listen, listen, listen. Find out what the stranger wants to achieve and who or what he wants to reach or influence. Find out what his conscious and subconscious objectives, desires and goals are, and help him the best you can to achieve them. Evaluate if you really are the right one to help him – and let him know in an honest and direct way if you’re not.
Next, describe to him in great detail how you see the situation. Calibrate and align expectations by describing and specifying what the stranger needs, and how it is that you can help him. Describe what the problem consist of and how exactly you are going to solve it. Define what to meassure the outcome by.
Do not expect the stranger to know what you know. Do not expect that he can explain or understand the problem for which he needs your help. On the contrary do expect that he actually needs help in any way you can imagine to be of assistance. Because if he didn’t need your help, he wouldn’t come to you in the first place.
The two strangers that met, made a mutual commitment, but failed to create shared expectations to meassure their relationship by will probably end up both being troubled and dissapointed. The thing is, that the relationship would have failed even if they had a contract. The relationship would never exist had they lacked commitment, and it would have evaporated had one of the strangers lost his commitment halfway – Even if they had a contract.
Every once in a while everybody should make a commitment to a stranger in good faith. Be prepared to postpone the contract, as long as you don’t make any compromises when it comes to commitment and creation of shared expectations. At least not when you’re dealing with a stranger.
…When it comes to friends, work and money it seems to work the other way around – The contract is by far the most important AND the most neglegted.